I take that as a sin you've been fitting in well with your new role.
As for Oska, I remained much myself. Though, perhaps... it has more to do with my constitution. ( or maybe he's just lucked out in vanquishing them before they got to him. he supposes now he'll never know if it was possible to begin with. )
When you say a bad run in, I presume you've shifted... through time? ( it's a curious thing to have written out for him to see, hence his hesitation. he feels there probably was a more apt term, but in light of his ongoing incredulity, this is the closest he recites. )
That was quite straight-forward of you. Though, I suppose my case is slightly different from simply dying. You can think of me more as spirit that's been given a physical form. ( anything else became a lot more convoluted to explain. it isn't that arjuna is inherently against the concept of expounding on some of the details (especially, given they're rather irrelevant here), but it's something he's a bit more careful with.
also, it was undeniably— troublesome. either way, ) Denial. That may be true.
Were you, perhaps, uncomfortable with others seeing your past or future form? ... No, you don't have to answer that. I apologize if I stepped in too close to your heart, Keith.
[He isn't surprised given the source in question. Keith recalls exactly how strange Arjuna had been before, and it's not surprising that he'd be any stranger now.
Perhaps it's denial that makes the next words form, but Keith isn't fully aware of it, especially since he's currently walking the fine line between acceptance and denial. Sometimes, he knows what he's doing, but not all the time.]
I wouldn't call it a matter of the heart. Wouldn't ANYONE have a problem with that?
Is it? I had thought it to be a common expression...
( but, he supposes that's not important. but, wow??? keith?? )
Hmm. That's a difficult question. It's harder to say since I haven't been subjected to it, but I believe there's no shame in revealing ones past. I also believe the same for the future, as well. If one is truly worthy of their titles and designations, there should be no altering that fact. ( unless, his darker side was revealed, but that's different. or so, he thinks. still, he sticks with the most heroic response he can muster. aka, insert dramatic speech. )
I believe the same for you, of course. Though, I suppose it may be hard for you to trust my words. ( they haven't met for long, and though arjuna believes in keith on the basis that they're both recruits fighting on the same side, well... there's a lot of room for argument and debate, he supposes. )
[It was really tender and sentimental, okay? Keith is bad at that stuff, except for when he really desperately wants his teammates to be teammates. Having a team like Audentes could make him feel great about that, but he still feels overwhelmed by it. Or, when he pauses to think about it, he definitely feels overwhelmed.
Yes, that is likely the case.]
You make it sound like only good things could come from this. Like, what if someone wanted to be who they were before, but now they can't? But they remember being that, but they've made peace with it. I didn't run into someone like that, but I know a guy that it'd be hard on.
Not only good things happen in the future or in the past. So it's less ... about someone's worth. I think so, anyway.
That may be true, but isn't coming to terms with whatever happens also a part of being a Hero? At least, I am of that faith. Though, I admit in this situation, I am without context.
I apologize if I've said anything inaccurate in light of that. ( but, not only good. he supposes that's only natural. men... by nature often went astray from the paths they've intended. but, whether that in itself is god's will, well... arjuna can't say. )
Do you believe it's possible for someone to deny who they've become?
[Right for the throat, huh? Darn, it's a good thing that he can't see Keith's face right now. He recalls Lance's words, and his offered reassurance in return. No, he doesn't want to become that, but what if he already has? Maybe Arjuna just means the guy he was referring to, but he takes it personally.]
Wouldn't another way of posing that question just be, "Do you believe it's possible for someone to change?"
[Incidentally, he absolutely dodged the question.]
( ah, he really did dodge it. or so arjuna thinks briefly. though, he supposes...
maybe that's what anyone would have done. ) They are related, admittedly. Though, wouldn't you say one is looking into the past while the other the future? Which do you think is easier to answer, I wonder. Once again, I apologize if I've offended you.
[Keith is not really a good judge of when an apology is or isn't necessary, anyway.]
You can't really know if your future is the future that someone envisions for you, can you? Unless you've lived it. It's tricky. Aren't you changing that future just by knowing about it? No matter what, your process of getting there ... changes.
That may be true. But, I am of the belief that God's hand works in curious ways. Perhaps, in the end, that's the way it was intended. For better or for worse. Maybe, this is simply due to my background, but I believe ones karma and previous lives also have weight to their present lives.
But, I would not refute your claims, either. Everyone is entitled to their own thoughts.
As long as one lives their lives brilliantly and battles honorably, I see no fault in that. Also, while you know of your future, it's not to state that that's... how it ends.
As someone who has been summoned for several lifetimes, I can say that with confidence.
As I've briefly divulged to you once before, I am a Servant. A Heroic Spirit.
( thought, considering... that's hardly a full explanation, arjuna eventually continues. )
I realized in my time here that ... the concept isn't so simply explained. But, Heroic Spirits are.... just as the name implies. We are heroes who were remembered and worshipped for our deeds even past our deaths. Due to this, we were removed from the wheel of reincarnation and were omit from being affected by the passage of time. We basically move when "summoned." When being called for one specific purpose—
This has happened several times in my memory already. While this time with ALASTAIR is a bit ( what's the word he's looking for? ) different, I suppose it's probably the easiest frame of comparison. To begin with, it happens... quite similarly. Suddenly.
Does this answer your question, Keith? ( he's honestly not sure... if this is what keith was asking for. he suspected it wasn't just about summing... but for the context he was speaking from, but well. he could see how this explanation was.... a lot to take in. )
[On the one hand, it sounds like a path that Keith can respect. Being able to be celebrated as a hero means that someone would have seen a great deal of value in his lifetime. On the other hand, Keith feels as if it's limiting, like it's forcing a person to do someone else's bidding. He doesn't like that, either. Yeah, it might just be about living as heroically as possible, but—]
Do you ever get to do things for yourself? I understand the need to fight hard no matter what, but it sounds like because you did some good deeds, you're forced to be at someone's bidding for the rest of your life.
Is it good to have done so much good to be asked to do it over and over again, or ... is it bad because you don't really have a say in how it goes from there? Are you still doing good?
However, it isn't completely without merit. You could say Heroic Spirits get another chance to realize things they've been unable to in their previous lives. ( while it gets messy by explaining the dynamics of the holy grail war and how masters normally offed their servants before they could truly achieve any of this, well... )
I don't know about that, but I do think Servants and Masters have quite a complicated relationship. ... and naturally, there are Servants who are still quite uncooperative yet. ( as for arjuna, he was of the habit of testing his master, so there's that. )
Though, I can see why you'd ask. Keith, you do appear like the type who..
No, it's nothing. ( honestly, what he has to say isn't bad... but, somehow it felt presumptuous. not that ... it's ever stopped him before, but here. it seems appropriate. it's almost hard to tell if he's doing this on purpose or not. )
I do my part in not being presumptuous, despite what I'm accustomed to. ( well, even before... it isn't so much that he spoke freely as much as he had the ability and rank to. regardless— ) It was also a matter of wording. ( after all, there were dif. ways to word things. for example, greedy vs. resourceful. or, independent vs. uncooperative. )
That is true. Whether one has freedom or not, the fact that they have their own private set of responsibilities to bear doesn't change. ( it's just a matter of perspective. )
Was the future you were met with that far from what you've envisioned, I wonder...
[ but, well. he isn't here to give keith a hard time... ]
Perhaps, maybe I'll never know unless I "grow up here," either.
[ in theory. still, he rewires the conversation fairly easily. ] But, if you have the energy to be thinking of all this, it appears you're in fairly good condition. As a fellow recruit, I'm genuinely relieved.
Yes. That is true. As long as there's life, there's growth.
I, Arjuna, shall carefully watch over this journey of yours.
( he doesn't feel like he got an answer for everything, but he does feel he's gotten to know keith a little better. he supposes that was a start of something. as to what? he's not particularly sure, but it never hurt to forge bonds when appropriate. ... and well, maybe some things about keith were a little familiar to him, somehow. )
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As for Oska, I remained much myself. Though, perhaps... it has more to do with my constitution. ( or maybe he's just lucked out in vanquishing them before they got to him. he supposes now he'll never know if it was possible to begin with. )
When you say a bad run in, I presume you've shifted... through time? ( it's a curious thing to have written out for him to see, hence his hesitation. he feels there probably was a more apt term, but in light of his ongoing incredulity, this is the closest he recites. )
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What do you mean by constitution? Is this the part where you died? [After meeting Koltira, he's beginning to understand that it might be a Thing.]
Anyway—yeah, that was it. That's what we think, anyway. It feels kinda like denial to call it anything else. Honestly, I preferred the acidic blood.
*sign, omg what a typo
also, it was undeniably— troublesome. either way, ) Denial. That may be true.
Were you, perhaps, uncomfortable with others seeing your past or future form? ... No, you don't have to answer that. I apologize if I stepped in too close to your heart, Keith.
( bc that's something he could relate to. )
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[He isn't surprised given the source in question. Keith recalls exactly how strange Arjuna had been before, and it's not surprising that he'd be any stranger now.
Perhaps it's denial that makes the next words form, but Keith isn't fully aware of it, especially since he's currently walking the fine line between acceptance and denial. Sometimes, he knows what he's doing, but not all the time.]
I wouldn't call it a matter of the heart. Wouldn't ANYONE have a problem with that?
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( but, he supposes that's not important. but, wow??? keith?? )
Hmm. That's a difficult question. It's harder to say since I haven't been subjected to it, but I believe there's no shame in revealing ones past. I also believe the same for the future, as well. If one is truly worthy of their titles and designations, there should be no altering that fact. ( unless, his darker side was revealed, but that's different. or so, he thinks. still, he sticks with the most heroic response he can muster. aka, insert dramatic speech. )
I believe the same for you, of course. Though, I suppose it may be hard for you to trust my words. ( they haven't met for long, and though arjuna believes in keith on the basis that they're both recruits fighting on the same side, well... there's a lot of room for argument and debate, he supposes. )
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Yes, that is likely the case.]
You make it sound like only good things could come from this. Like, what if someone wanted to be who they were before, but now they can't? But they remember being that, but they've made peace with it. I didn't run into someone like that, but I know a guy that it'd be hard on.
Not only good things happen in the future or in the past. So it's less ... about someone's worth. I think so, anyway.
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That may be true, but isn't coming to terms with whatever happens also a part of being a Hero? At least, I am of that faith. Though, I admit in this situation, I am without context.
I apologize if I've said anything inaccurate in light of that. ( but, not only good. he supposes that's only natural. men... by nature often went astray from the paths they've intended. but, whether that in itself is god's will, well... arjuna can't say. )
Do you believe it's possible for someone to deny who they've become?
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Wouldn't another way of posing that question just be, "Do you believe it's possible for someone to change?"
[Incidentally, he absolutely dodged the question.]
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maybe that's what anyone would have done. ) They are related, admittedly. Though, wouldn't you say one is looking into the past while the other the future? Which do you think is easier to answer, I wonder. Once again, I apologize if I've offended you.
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[Keith is not really a good judge of when an apology is or isn't necessary, anyway.]
You can't really know if your future is the future that someone envisions for you, can you? Unless you've lived it. It's tricky. Aren't you changing that future just by knowing about it? No matter what, your process of getting there ... changes.
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But, I would not refute your claims, either. Everyone is entitled to their own thoughts.
As long as one lives their lives brilliantly and battles honorably, I see no fault in that. Also, while you know of your future, it's not to state that that's... how it ends.
As someone who has been summoned for several lifetimes, I can say that with confidence.
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Not that I'm ignoring anything else you said. I just want to put it into ... perspective, I guess.
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( thought, considering... that's hardly a full explanation, arjuna eventually continues. )
I realized in my time here that ... the concept isn't so simply explained. But, Heroic Spirits are.... just as the name implies. We are heroes who were remembered and worshipped for our deeds even past our deaths. Due to this, we were removed from the wheel of reincarnation and were omit from being affected by the passage of time. We basically move when "summoned." When being called for one specific purpose—
This has happened several times in my memory already. While this time with ALASTAIR is a bit ( what's the word he's looking for? ) different, I suppose it's probably the easiest frame of comparison. To begin with, it happens... quite similarly. Suddenly.
Does this answer your question, Keith? ( he's honestly not sure... if this is what keith was asking for. he suspected it wasn't just about summing... but for the context he was speaking from, but well. he could see how this explanation was.... a lot to take in. )
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Do you ever get to do things for yourself? I understand the need to fight hard no matter what, but it sounds like because you did some good deeds, you're forced to be at someone's bidding for the rest of your life.
Is it good to have done so much good to be asked to do it over and over again, or ... is it bad because you don't really have a say in how it goes from there? Are you still doing good?
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However, it isn't completely without merit. You could say Heroic Spirits get another chance to realize things they've been unable to in their previous lives. ( while it gets messy by explaining the dynamics of the holy grail war and how masters normally offed their servants before they could truly achieve any of this, well... )
I don't know about that, but I do think Servants and Masters have quite a complicated relationship. ... and naturally, there are Servants who are still quite uncooperative yet. ( as for arjuna, he was of the habit of testing his master, so there's that. )
Though, I can see why you'd ask. Keith, you do appear like the type who..
No, it's nothing. ( honestly, what he has to say isn't bad... but, somehow it felt presumptuous. not that ... it's ever stopped him before, but here. it seems appropriate. it's almost hard to tell if he's doing this on purpose or not. )
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[The whole "Servants and Masters" business needs an explanation, but one step at a time.]
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( is he teasing keith? probably... even if it's subtle. )
I was just thinking you seem like the sort of individual who valued freedom.
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I think I do. Or ... I've always had freedom to figure out stuff for myself. No one else was really telling me what to do.
I guess knowing a possible future is daunting in that aspect.
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That is true. Whether one has freedom or not, the fact that they have their own private set of responsibilities to bear doesn't change. ( it's just a matter of perspective. )
Was the future you were met with that far from what you've envisioned, I wonder...
I suppose we'll never know.
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[A beat, as he realizes what he typed.]
I mean, finish growing up. I'm not that young.
Since you're here, does that mean things are different for you?
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[ but, well. he isn't here to give keith a hard time... ]
Perhaps, maybe I'll never know unless I "grow up here," either.
[ in theory. still, he rewires the conversation fairly easily. ] But, if you have the energy to be thinking of all this, it appears you're in fairly good condition. As a fellow recruit, I'm genuinely relieved.
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I think that no matter what, we'll grow somehow while we're here.
[He doesn't read it as a hard time, but that might be the text part of it. That makes it a bit difficult.]
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I, Arjuna, shall carefully watch over this journey of yours.
( he doesn't feel like he got an answer for everything, but he does feel he's gotten to know keith a little better. he supposes that was a start of something. as to what? he's not particularly sure, but it never hurt to forge bonds when appropriate. ... and well, maybe some things about keith were a little familiar to him, somehow. )
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I'll watch over your journey, too.
[That feels like the most appropriate answer in response. It might not be the right one, but he's still winging this stuff.]