[ normally, his mind tends to run at 100 mph, with even more thoughts greasing up the wheels.
but when keith brings that part up, it's hard not to miss what he means, effectively bringing most thoughts to a screeching halt. ]
Yeah.
[ weirder still to remember how intense his feelings had been back in oska regarding that reveal... and how oddly (but also quite refreshingly) lacking they had been back home, with the other.
it hadn't been that big of a deal, when keith told them all what happened. probably because keith told them. ]
I'm still not planning on betraying anyone. In that future—the one I had here—there weren't any good Galra. There was just me, and I thought I was the only one to do it. I see now ... that Thace and the Blade of Marmora are a better way of handling things. And if anything, we need allies in our fight.
[The words come out in a big burst, like he absolutely needs Lance to understand this. He remembers the gnawing insecurity over worries of nature versus nurture, like the fear that all Galra might be evil. It's bigger now, but stamped down by meeting the Blade ... and meeting Thace and seeing the end result of his sacrifice.]
[ lance hadn't understood it then — this line of thinking that led keith, purple keith, full galra keith, whatever, to think the way he had, to think that he absolutely had to betray them in order to save them, even if in the end it was just pretend all along.
in truth, he still doesn't really understand it now, though he supposes this explanation helps shed some light on the matter. it's still dumb, lance thinks, it's still risky and foolish, and more than that it still definitely shows a lack of faith that that keith had had on voltron. on them. because no matter the reason, a paladin who thinks he has to do anything on his own to help them all is a paladin who doesn't think they can do it together. and if anything's going to hurt voltron, lance thinks it'll be that. not pride, not insecurity, not misguided good intentions... but by not believing in the team. in themselves. ]
We're all stronger when we fight together. Just don't forget that, okay?
[Keith had a big change at the end of his trial. While explaining that he was Galra was a burden and a half—especially given the rather predictable response from Allura that followed—he knew (and knows) that there was no way of explaining how that moment changed him.
In that other life, he wasn't a member of the Blade. He wasn't anyone.
[ he pauses a little, caught off-guard by the thanks.
but he recalls how things had been pretty tense between him and allura so... well. that's only natural that he'd feel that way, wouldn't he? ]
...Yeah, sure thing. No big deal, you know?
[ considering everything, it really wasn't. if anything, it seemed to have taken this huge weight off keith's shoulders, which in turn seems to have made him that much more amenable in the long run so... in the end, isn't that was matters more? ]
[ not in the way it could be, he says, and lance can't help but think: not in the way it was. because they already had that "big deal" revelation. and it wasn't pretty.
even though he hadn't remembered a thing about alastair while he was back home... he has to wonder if maybe a part of him took it all in such stride because of what happened here.
it's true though. it isn't really a big deal to lance.
but he realizes now that to someone like keith... it is. and so maybe the best thing he can do here is acknowledge it. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[He figures that answers everything, but if it doesn't, he's bound to find out.]
You remember ... what I am, right? [It's weird to have the memories of being a purple Galra and then ... the Galra that he is now.]
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but when keith brings that part up, it's hard not to miss what he means, effectively bringing most thoughts to a screeching halt. ]
Yeah.
[ weirder still to remember how intense his feelings had been back in oska regarding that reveal... and how oddly (but also quite refreshingly) lacking they had been back home, with the other.
it hadn't been that big of a deal, when keith told them all what happened. probably because keith told them. ]
So what.
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[The words come out in a big burst, like he absolutely needs Lance to understand this. He remembers the gnawing insecurity over worries of nature versus nurture, like the fear that all Galra might be evil. It's bigger now, but stamped down by meeting the Blade ... and meeting Thace and seeing the end result of his sacrifice.]
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in truth, he still doesn't really understand it now, though he supposes this explanation helps shed some light on the matter. it's still dumb, lance thinks, it's still risky and foolish, and more than that it still definitely shows a lack of faith that that keith had had on voltron. on them. because no matter the reason, a paladin who thinks he has to do anything on his own to help them all is a paladin who doesn't think they can do it together. and if anything's going to hurt voltron, lance thinks it'll be that. not pride, not insecurity, not misguided good intentions... but by not believing in the team. in themselves. ]
We're all stronger when we fight together. Just don't forget that, okay?
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[Keith had a big change at the end of his trial. While explaining that he was Galra was a burden and a half—especially given the rather predictable response from Allura that followed—he knew (and knows) that there was no way of explaining how that moment changed him.
In that other life, he wasn't a member of the Blade. He wasn't anyone.
He just knew he had to help.]
dubs that icon the "talk dirty to me" icon
maybe sometimes it shouldn't be. but it is. ]
Then we're good.
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[They never really had a chance to ruminate over it. But it actually does Mean Something to Keith.]
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but he recalls how things had been pretty tense between him and allura so... well. that's only natural that he'd feel that way, wouldn't he? ]
...Yeah, sure thing. No big deal, you know?
[ considering everything, it really wasn't. if anything, it seemed to have taken this huge weight off keith's shoulders, which in turn seems to have made him that much more amenable in the long run so... in the end, isn't that was matters more? ]
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Just ... not in the way it could be.
[Is he ... confiding in Lance? Is that what's happening? Well, he isn't going on.]
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even though he hadn't remembered a thing about alastair while he was back home... he has to wonder if maybe a part of him took it all in such stride because of what happened here.
it's true though. it isn't really a big deal to lance.
but he realizes now that to someone like keith... it is. and so maybe the best thing he can do here is acknowledge it. ]
You're welcome, Keith.
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[If only because awkward bonding moments work better when he has a smooth exit.
This is not a smooth exit.]
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...Kay.
[ ... ]
Bye.