You couldn't control yourself. I don't care about that.
[If Peter was someone he cared about, it would have hurt. With Shiro, it did hurt. But he's not someone that Keith has learned to expend his emotional effort on entirely yet. That's likely a good thing—Keith isn't the most emotionally competent person and that might be strenuous, to say the least.]
What I care about is two things.
1. You told me you'd have a plan. What happened to that?
2. You forced Stiles to have to use a tranquilizer on you. Which means your plan didn't work.
i did. i stole enough barbituates to put myself under, and then i holed up in a room i could secure from the inside in the sewers. i just didn't steal enough.
it wasn't a great plan. i should have had someone to make sure i stayed under. i just... i thought keeping what i was capable of was more important than that.
( the mention of Stiles is the hardest part to answer. it comes back about as fragmented as his thinking is, like written evidence that his thoughts were still splintered and uncomprehensible, no matter how hard he tried to project that he was back to relative normal. )
i didn't w i should have tested myself, i should have seen it, i ju he didn't tell me what was happening. he was just trying to protect me from getting worse and i sensed it and i
[The problem with nobody telling anyone anything is that they usually come out at bad moments like this. Keith hadn't known that Stiles was hurt, only that Stiles blamed himself for something to do with a tranquilizer, and Keith had drawn what was apparently the wrong conclusion. He wonders if Stiles is aware of that. But what he does know, without a single semblance of doubt, is that he doesn't want to be the one to tell Stiles that.]
It sounds like you have a lot to talk to Stiles about. I'm not the right guy for any of that. But you need to talk to him. Not me. I barely knew anything about what you just said.
You want to know why? Because you're both beating yourselves up. [He figures that's a good note to end that on before he goes on.]
And look. I want to yell at you for what you kept from your teammates. It was a stupid move. But it seems like you know that.
A friend asked me what to do after she made a mistake back in Perdition's Rest. You can't just give up. That's stupid. Everyone messes up.
None of us chose to be here. But we have a chance to help. Keep helping.
[Keith isn't always good at motivational speeches, but he is fairly firm in his resolve of "do something" over "sit around and regret it." Action drives him every day of his life.]
( cute idea, talking to Stiles. and clearly he can't talk to other people about Stiles, either, so he's not going to comment more on that.
for what it's worth, Keith, it's a pretty good speech. it just seems they function quite similarly, when it comes to dealing with mistakes. Peter is already on his determined attempts to make it up to Woodhurst by doing everything he can and then some. )
The real problem is how you went about it and how it could've been prevented. But like I said, and like you agreed, it won't happen like that. Not again.
Koltira's getting himself help. So, you just need to be smarter.
I want to ask if ALASTAIR can provide us with some armor. I was one of the only ones who could fight reliably who also stood the risk of getting sick. I want to change that.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[If Peter was someone he cared about, it would have hurt. With Shiro, it did hurt. But he's not someone that Keith has learned to expend his emotional effort on entirely yet. That's likely a good thing—Keith isn't the most emotionally competent person and that might be strenuous, to say the least.]
What I care about is two things.
1. You told me you'd have a plan. What happened to that?
2. You forced Stiles to have to use a tranquilizer on you. Which means your plan didn't work.
1/3?
( he cares about it, and Keith not having enough attachment to him for it to matter doesn't change that.
he's not expecting the other questions, and it takes him a bit of time to answer. he does, though, even if it's delayed. )
2/3
it wasn't a great plan. i should have had someone to make sure i stayed under. i just...
i thought keeping what i was capable of was more important than that.
( the mention of Stiles is the hardest part to answer. it comes back about as fragmented as his thinking is, like written evidence that his thoughts were still splintered and uncomprehensible, no matter how hard he tried to project that he was back to relative normal. )
i didn't w
i should have tested myself, i should have seen it, i ju
he didn't tell me what was happening. he was just trying to protect me from getting worse and i sensed it and i
i didn't mean to hurt him, i didn't want to hur
3/3
it was a stupid plan. you can be angry with me, I deserve it
i just had to say it.
( it's all he really can say, i'm sorry i'm sorry i'm sorry. if only it actually helped anything. )
1/2
It sounds like you have a lot to talk to Stiles about. I'm not the right guy for any of that. But you need to talk to him. Not me. I barely knew anything about what you just said.
You want to know why? Because you're both beating yourselves up. [He figures that's a good note to end that on before he goes on.]
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A friend asked me what to do after she made a mistake back in Perdition's Rest. You can't just give up. That's stupid. Everyone messes up.
None of us chose to be here. But we have a chance to help. Keep helping.
[Keith isn't always good at motivational speeches, but he is fairly firm in his resolve of "do something" over "sit around and regret it." Action drives him every day of his life.]
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for what it's worth, Keith, it's a pretty good speech. it just seems they function quite similarly, when it comes to dealing with mistakes. Peter is already on his determined attempts to make it up to Woodhurst by doing everything he can and then some.
)
yeah, i know. i will.
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I'm willing to bet it's the same for anyone else who matters.
[Given that it's Keith, he's also the last person who will talk to Stiles to make sure Peter talked to him, so there is that, at least.]
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audentes is a pretty forgiving group, it seems.
( Keith isn't the only one to react this way, but it doesn't make any more sense to Peter. )
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Just think. You only messed up people once. Koltira's done it lots of times.
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( maybe leaves him with no leg to stand on as far as the guy is concerned, though. )
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The real problem is how you went about it and how it could've been prevented. But like I said, and like you agreed, it won't happen like that. Not again.
Koltira's getting himself help. So, you just need to be smarter.
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and whether it means anything to you or not, i'm glad you're okay.
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I needed the excitement.
[That's oddly good-natured of him. Probably.]
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hopefully the excitement can be from our missions from now on.
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You don't think we can request one, do you?
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it is worth a shot?
( how did their conversation get here... )
if we end up in space i will know who to ask for tips
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I want to ask if ALASTAIR can provide us with some armor. I was one of the only ones who could fight reliably who also stood the risk of getting sick. I want to change that.
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we get a uniform but it doesn't offer any protection. should be possible to add it
ALASTAIR is sort of a don't ask don't get kind of operation, though
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I'm prepared to ask.
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i hope it works out. it could benefit a lot of us.
( yes, even him, with his ridiculous superpowers. he can still be hurt; Keith would know. )
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Though I'd feel bad for everyone stuck in purple armor.
[Since that is what it would default to.]
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( it's sort of why Peter only wears half of his uniform, and barely at that... purple is not his color.
RED AND BLUE ARE, PRIMARY COLORS ARE WHERE IT'S AT )
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Maybe they can customize it.
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maybe... it could be worth asking
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