secondnature | IC CONTACT ( meadowlark )

If I say the wrong thing here, don't take it out on me.

[He maybe could've said something else, but their relationship is still on new ground. Keith doesn't want to get into a bickering match. He's making an effort!]

I think we're more together than people think. It might be because I've seen a team much smaller than this come to one place and work, and then I've seen that team grow beyond us. It might not be that we all have the same interests, but no one's bad. And if anyone is, they make it clear they're gonna go their own way.

When I first got here, I thought that no one would care to help. I even yelled at your brother about it. I thought he wouldn't bother.

That's different now. We don't leave people in trouble if we can help it.

I don't think everyone's willing to look out for this world, but that's fine. There's enough of us who will.

I disagree with you.
But I obviously didn't ask you because I wanted you to say what I wanted to hear.

[ He didn't. He thinks this is hopelessly, hopelessly naive but he also thinks Keith himself is hopelessly naive. ]

As of right now we're just surviving. Reacting to things that come our way and trying to mitigate the damage as much as we can.
We're far from thriving.

That's because you only see what we do wrong. We do do a lot wrong, but that's because we have separate interests.

I told you when you got here that we had more accomplished than you gave us credit for. We've got jobs, and a lot of people don't even know worlds like this one. We're living, and we haven't been captured or taken away. It means that we're not messing up that bad. Maybe that's because we're some test experiment in action. I don't know. I haven't worked that out yet.

[Keith has had a lot of conversations about this since he got here.]

Our success rate is good. Maybe we're reacting, but isn't that half of trying to do good? We can't get ahead of things because we don't have the means to. Not yet. Maybe if Morningstar wasn't gutted, it'd be different.

But the monster? We took that down. None of us got hurt or in trouble. They even threw a party.

The sickness? We managed to get to everyone who was left afterward. You were a part of that team.

And the attacks? We didn't save everyone, but we got nearly everyone. Now we're discussing who our enemy is, and making sure we don't take the wrong steps. We even managed to get most of the agents out of the warehouse.

Was it perfect? No. But we're not as bad as everyone seems to think.

Edited 2019-03-09 05:06 (UTC)

[ There is a pause.

A measured pause. Damian is taking a step back, because he doesn't want to fight. He's being good because he has to be, no matter how much he wants to wring Keith's neck for relentless optimism and focusing on the full part of the glass, not the empty one. ]

Kogane.

[ Another long pause. ]

Keith.

[ Okay. That's more personable. That helps, right? ]

I want you to remove your focus from the civilians for a moment and focus on us as an organization. Not what we're doing or what we have done, but our current lack of cohesion.
I yelled at you about a guide when I first arrived because that should have been one of the first things that was crafted, so the debriefing for every arrival after was quick and to the point. That is only now being accomplished.
We, as a collective group, have no organization or purpose. We're barely prepared when something goes wrong, and much of our preparation is due to Morningstar offering the olive branch. Something that we may not have for much longer.
So I'm asking you to focus on us as a group and what we need when I ask you this question. Not the good we've done, not our individual goals.

[ Just. Okay. OKAY. ]

Point out our flaws.
So we can start coming up with solutions.

You have to ask everyone what they want.

I focused on the good we did for the civilians because that's what I want to do here. Until it's time for me to go back home, that's what I see as my job. That's what a paladin would do.

That's not what everyone's gonna think here.

[And that's the thing. Keith has thought long and hard about whether or not he can force his views on other people. He's found his mission in life. He knows where he's at peace. But everyone else?

It's not up to seeing what they've done wrong, but acknowledging why they look like a nebulous group without focus, purpose, or organization.]

I'm asking you what you want, you
This was hopeless I should have known better-
Why are you so stupi-

[ He presses the heels of his hands into his eyes.

He doesn't hate Keith. He can't. He really, really can't. He's just so frustratingly fixated on other things that he's certain they'll never understand. ]

Kogane, let me put it this way.
What did you not do last month?
What is that indicative of?

I didn't plan a party. That's on me. I'm asking for help now.

It's a sign that that's not a goal I should've had in the first place. I wanted to do it for Ciri.

I'm telling you. We don't have a unified front because we don't have a reason to be, but that's why our successes at being unified matter.

We have reason to be unified.
Getting out of here, getting to the bottom of this.
Helping people, since that's what you're looking for.
It's all the same in the end. We've been able to do it in the past, in an emergency If we can capitalize on that and work together now then we actually stand a chance of surviving in the long term or getting home.

You and I might agree that part of helping ourselves involves helping others, but that isn't how everyone's gonna see it. We helped people back home. That's our lives.

Besides, how did helping Morningstar help us? People got hurt. We had a choice there and we took the more dangerous one.

To you and me, it was simple. You can't act like it was for everyone.

If they weren't blaming the wrong people for their misfortune it could have earned us their trust.

And I'm not trying to. What is it with you and absolutes?

Sorry. I'm not trying to think in absolutes.

Anyway.

You could see it as a matter of trust. But it was still a risk. We knew that going in.

Edited 2019-03-09 05:38 (UTC)

Let me try rephrasing this.
We're not all going to share the goals. It's impossible for all of us to fall under one umbrella.
But if the majority were to agree to work together, it would make sense to try to organize the best way to delegate and deliberate.
We can't control anyone. That isn't the point.

[ Says Damian Wayne, right hand to a dictator. A boy who gives no voice to moderation. ]

The point is trying to organize our thoughts, or the thoughts of all who are willing, to get things under control.
You're a leader.
You understand that even if you're not actively leading, it helps for a group to have people to look to and look up to.
Right?

[Truthfully? Keith both sees where Damian is coming from, but isn't entirely certain he believes it applies to their group. They aren't static. What Ciri believed they needed was a good idea, but difficult to pull off in a regulated way. Heck, they can't even agree on the kind of business they want to run, which would be a huge undertaking and a lot of responsibility to pin on people who don't have voices just yet.

(Note: Keith is anti-business when it comes to answering their problems. But he's also got a knack for making only a little work for him in the long run. Not everyone sees it that way.)]

I need you to go on and finish your thought before I agree.

We're going to be running a business one way or another, and that comes with it's own share of responsibilities and delegations. We need to structure ourselves sooner rather than later and can't keep relying on volunteer work.
I spoke with Manfred. I think he's the best candidate for leadership, with someone working at his side. Not me, before you get yourself in some sort of twist. I don't want to lead.
I've spoken to others, who have expressed they want some form of council. Others have expressed they want a democratic election.
Public, in-person meetings after each drop-off to ensure all new arrivals are brought up to speed and understand what is happening, allowing their voices to be heard. With opportunities for them to get involved.
Obviously this conversation has to be brought to everyone, but I want to have some form of solid idea before I bother opening my mouth.

[Keith hates politics. It's not Damian's fault. He just reads this with an overwhelming sense of, "Why are you talking to me?" He's a soldier, and he'll do the duties of a soldier, going around the world, giving a speech when necessary, all of that ...

But ugh. He really hates politics.]

Why are you asking me about this?

[Not the important question. But he's stalling, trying to figure out if his real question—What if Markus disappears?—is even fair.

(But after Ciri, after Noctis, after Shiro—maybe it is fair.

And he doesn't even know about Kara yet.)]

[ Damian hasn't realized it yet either. Only viewed her closed door as a sign that they keep missing each other, he's more focused on the coming drop then someone else vanishing.

What a fool. ]

I don't know.

[And here it comes, the point he realizes he has to make.]

I don't think this is a bad idea. I just think we need to approach it with more flexibility than you're suggesting. And have more faith in us.

But ... we disappear a lot. Almost every friend I've made here has left. That doesn't have anything to do with faith, or what we can pull off. It's about how little control we have.

Almost all leaders are mortal and can die.
I plan to come up with contingencies in case of it.
This isn't a lack of faith. This is awareness of how the world works.

This isn't death. This is not knowing if someone is gone, waiting until enough days have passed for you to call it. Hoping that they'll come back anyway.

[This is Keith's abandonment complex in its rawest form.]

If you have a plan for that, I'll support you.

But don't try to act like I'm not aware because I reminded you to have faith.

You didn't remind me of anything.
If I didn't have faith that this group could do something, I'd have struck out on my own a long time ago.

[Oh.]

Why didn't you say that sooner?

[Not that there was really an opportunity.]

[ ..................... ]

Thank you for your input. I think I've got what I needed.

[ KEITH. ]

Edited 2019-03-10 05:45 (UTC)

Okay.

[That's it.]

IC CONTACT ( meadowlark )

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